jenny leigh, home , and then some …..


was sitting here watching the movie “ghost world” .if u aint seen it , well just weep, DEVIL GOT MY WOMAN , wow , crazy song and a crazy ass movie , have not seen any movie that so uniquely captured my coming of age! it aint one of them ,predictable coming of age movies , which go something like dreams -love – dissapointment – redemption ! no this was just well , how do u put it, well to begin with its a english movie that opens with Mohammed Rafi raving

“Jaan Pehechan Ho,
Jeena Aasaan Ho,
Dil Ko Churane Walon,
Aankh Na Churavo,
Naam Tho Batavo..

Aaj Ki Yeh Shaam Javan,
Yun Na Chali Jaaye,
Aaj Ki Yeh Shaam Javan,
Yun Na Chali Jaaye,
Phir Se Na Aayegi Yeh Kisi Ke Bulaaye,
Phir Se Na Aayegi Yeh Kisi Ke Bulaaye..”

and oh god the video to the song , is just so elegant,its this crazy shaker bollywood early 90s hard on! and the song “devil got my woman” when it came on in the rhythm of the movie i almost had an orgasm!

crazy home and passions

recently someone told me , “rayyan , you know you are home, when you can walk around in pitch fucking darkness and still know your damn way” so then i came to realize that, home is where u know your way around even in pitch fucking darkness and in that , girl your my home i know my way around you blind, your every corner, your every secret crease and fold , that i can use to my passionate advantages , so home is you then , no?

teri neeyat , kaarab hai!

jenny leigh

but that’s not all i wanna tell you about , as i sat there a friend broadcasts me a jenny leigh quote , and it couldn’t have arrived in front of my tired eyes at a better time, this dark movie this dark phase, the quote goes sum in like this;

” What is depression really ? is there one concrete definition or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued its downhill descent? To me depression is simply my life. im not suicidal. im not a damn cutter. i dont hate the world. I dont only dress in black. im just sad. ive been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that’s not true. i was happy once and i can vaguely remember what it felt like, but i cant touch it, i can’t get that happiness back ,I dont know how. Thats what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is but never being able to touch it, to feel it.” – Jenny Leigh


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