My mom , you know.

My mom, you know, sometimes is just wonderful. And she does not even get how wonderful she gets once in a while. For her in her mind its just normal , but to me . In my mind I know how truly wonderful she is.

Just this evening she came back home, she and my dad had gone outside. I was at home , I dint go to work today on account of being severely ill from a swollen lip which in turn resulted in a fever. So I was downstairs in the kitchen and my mom goes like ,

“We went to the Mercedes showroom today. Your dad and I, for a test drive. “

“yeah …. And..” go I.

“We booked one .”

That’s awesome I think, because my mom had been having some trouble with her car, and my dad had suggested her to get one. So for you to realize why my mom is going to be ‘wonderful’ you need to realize , that what’s going through my head right about now is that , ‘yay! my moms getting a brand new car.` So even though I am really happy for my mom getting a new car , I don’t really say anything because its just been going through the pipeline quite a bit recently so its not that much of a shock.

“its not for me”  goes my mom.

“what? Then who is it for ?” of course me .

“ Its for your Dad. What you thought I was going to roam about in a Mercedes to pick your sister and to go to the fish market? Its for your Abu, he deserves it . I’ve always wanted him to drive a top notch Brand new car from the showroom. He deserves it. “ were her exact words.

Even though I may want to live away from home for the next two years, even though I want to work somewhere else and not in my dads office as I am of now, even though they may never be the most romantic couple openly my parents that is , even though theirs is an arranged marriage , even though most of the time all they have said to me today has annoyed me because its been about how I me clearly solely responsible for my own illness and lack of health cause of my lie style, besides all of this,

I stood there awestruck. I was smiling , shocked and smiling and all I could tell her was ,

“Yeah, he does deserve it’

And I stood there at the bottom steps of the stairs, frozen. She really does love him , and he her. They truly awesome with each other. She needed a car , but even though she will drive it here and there I’m not going to lie to you, She let him have the title of ownership. That’s what she did!

That’s a true fucking sacrifice , for your better half. She will drive the Camry most of the time as always , and my dad owns “two “ cars .

She is awesome that way, my mom. Always doing things like this that make me realize just how wonderful she is. The way she gets mad at me for most stuff, I can immediately see her underlying worry and fright for my well being. The way she is mad at me for the whole ex-girlfriend topic, its cause she has seen me at my worst , in the worst scenario any mom could see her son in .

Broken

Broken from the inside you found me mom, broken from inside you saw me. It’s the worst , seeing your son broken as a human being, Worst seeing your son walk In home drunk beyond fucking believe. And you can see RIGHT THROUGH HIS FUCKING BLOODSHOT EYES HOW BROKEN HE IS . you slap him once or twice ! but inside you damn well know he isn’t even going to remember you do that tomorrow he is that fucking drunk. And you weep , and you wept.

But me , I had gone too far that time. I had no reason nor right , with which to break that soul which so rightfully is yours. I’m sorry.

I love her. I truly do. Even if she drives me to the edge most of the time.

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